I am a Man of Constant Sorrow...

Back for a while

Well here i am, for better i hope. But only time can ever answer that question. Wow speaking of questions, boy do i have some whoppers. Im trying to get through them, but theirs a few i just cant answer. I recently talked to an old friend and dug up alot of feelings and questions i thought i had answered, what drives me to insanity is, i never really answered them, I just kinda buried them. I am discovering that is not a great idea to do.
Anyhow, for those who dont know, yes all three of you who read this ever, I am in the navy. Yes unexpected perhaps, but my choice nonetheless. Yes even God called i belive. I must say the military community has the most diverse group of people ever. Mostly people who dissagree with all my ideals. But W/E i am having fun, and do have friends still. Rant thats what i guess i need, but i hate the act of such. Golly, do some thoughts just never leave your brain, , i swear, im going to go nuts, and i cant stop it!
I need to make a change in subject, As the title suggests, im back,,,, if for a while. i have no orders yet, but i hope to get them soon. but enouph of me, if anyone reads this still, plz say hey. in my boring life at the barracks i enjoy contact with the outside world.

Back for a while

wow

Go to http://youtube.com/watch?v=5cpSv2mNhhc, see what this song says to you, then read what i thinkbelow the lyrics.


where are we?what the hell is going on?the dust has only just begun to fallcrop circles in the carpetsinking feeling
spin me round againand rub my eyes,this can't be happeningwhen busy streets a mess with peoplewould stop to hold their heads - heavy
hide and seektrains and sewing machinesall those yearsthey were here first
oily marks appear on wallswhere pleasure moments hung before the takeover,the sweeping insensitivity of this still life
hide and seektrains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)blood and tears (hearts)they were here first
Mmmm whacha say,Mmmm that you only meant well?well of course you didMmmm whacha say,Mmmm that its all for the best?Because it isMmmm whacha say?Mmmm that it's just what we needyou decided thiswhacha say?Mmmm what did she say?
ransom notes keep falling out your mouthmid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outsspeak no feeling no i don't believe youyou don't care a bit, you don't care a bit
(hide and seek)ransom notes keep falling out your mouthmid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
(hide and seek)speak no feeling no i don't believe youyou don't care a bit,you don't care a (you don't care a) bit
(hide and seek)oh no, you don't care a bitoh no, you don't care a bit
(hide and seek)oh no, you don't care a bityou don't care a bityou don't care a bit.

This song was so beutifull, it totally speaks every single emotion of the human heart to me, all at the same time, the hurt of life and love, the discovery of new. The lose of family and the birth of new life. The hate the world has, and the complexity of the lifes we men and women lead, the lyrics speak alot, but the music is the killer and passer on of the meaning of the peice.

The complexity, of it all is amazing, and to think that we listen to music that only has one or two ideas or meanings to them, and then hearing this, wow. im in awe of the power of music once again
austininva

A song to sing, a life to live

This is something i wrote on sunday,

A song to sing, but what words to say.
a life to live, but what steps to take.
A single breath, but so much more.
My life has been turned upside down.
the hands i grab so often turn away.
but new ones are there,
The world is bearing down, it chokes and burns,
the life we live is so useless in its big picture.
No one cares, no one listens,
How did we come to this.

Depressed, angry,mad sad strong.
happy, confused, and then the choice.
What do i do, how shall i live,
you need the answer, but it just dosent come.
i used to be sure, on top of my game, but so much has changed.
its harder more, confusible, i get lost, and the lights go away.
But you always bring them back, you always are there, usually never left.
I can be so dumb at times.
Confusion ahhhhhhhhh, curse the feeling, it only drives me tward an end,
I must finesh, and with your help i will.

Land Of Oppertunity

Okay is life always this hard? I mean, is it always going to be a oh i dont have enouph cash, savings or credit. A 401k? I mean wtf. is it really supposed to be this hard in america, land of opertunity. Heck i cant even buy a car and keep it running cuase its so pricy. Insurance, hada dadiy dweo, in my dreams! and then what about a house, how am i going to afford that on 10.50 an hour imean jees, utilitys, ya right. Any way lets talk, is america still a place where one can live a great life, one that can only get better, or is that a thing of the past? I s the new america, the one we live in , a place where only the rich can live that dream?

Pantheistic Monism

I don’t think I will ever truly understand the idea of karma. The view of easterners who follow such religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism baffles me. I know in Christian Theism There are know absolutes, There is a God, He is transcendent, and the "omni" all knowing, all-powerful and so on. These comforts me knowing that there are absolutes, that there is someone over me this make God tangible in a sense. Not that I can see Him, but that I don’t have to look for him in a tree or a rock.
I agree with the eastern ideas in a way. But I believe they take the idea to an extreme. If thinking causes war, don’t think. Maybe it’s just my western mind here but thinking involves more than causing war. I think about what I will eat, I think about what I will say. If one were to cease thinking they would become a burden on their society. Drug users are a perfect example.
I find that eastern pantheistic monism will leave you still searching for more, it doesn’t really answer any questions, just puts a happy Buddha face on them. The idea of self-denial is common to both Christian theism and Eastern pantheistic monism in a way; we both believe that we should put ourselves aside. In the Christians view, this is so we can live like Christ. In the Buddhists view it is to make your karma better, and seems to involve pain and deprivation of basic human needs.
So Pantheistic Monism doesn’t answer anything really, it is just another way we look for the answer when we refuse to see the only one. People made a response to an idea that wasn’t working any more. Just like that "ism" came as a response for anther "ism". There is nothing to compare in my mind, these two ideas are too different to have any real similarities. True they have common sounding ideas, but there are no common grounds, no common beliefs.
It makes us feel good when we can have a good feeling inside us. And the illustration of Star Wars is a great way to describe Pantheistic monism, the " force" is there to be used, for good or evil, it doesn’t matter. In pantheistic monism there is no great calling to become a better person. Good or evil, it’s really up to what you feel like that day. Ethics in pantheistic monism I think really depends on what you want them to be that day. If you want good karma or bad karma there is no punishment for an ill choice. You always have your next lifetime to make up for your bad choices. So sin really does not exist to a Buddhist or Hindu I think, because there is no final end, no final choice. It can just be what you want it to be.So to end, all can find salvation, if they believe in Christ, that he is our savior. Theism has absolutes, an end, a beginning and a time for retribution, a time for a final decision. Myself, I am relived in the knowledge that there is an end, and that I have made my choice on which side of the line I will stand.

1 of 3 new posts

The Episcopal Church has wronged me by not staying true to the word of God. By adopting a new look for the church they have left the truth in the cold. And are inviting sin and corruption into the holy organized Christian worship.
The Episcopal Church has allowed by not banning same sex marriage, and then later openly allowing it. They put openly gay men in the positions of leadership. Thereby they are disobeying the commands that the God they proclaim to follow. This is both immoral and just plain wrong.
A common belief I think is wrong is the Americans governments continued support of the war in Iraq. We have finished every goal we set out to do and continued to stay. We have given the Iraqi people a chance to change the way they live life. And we continue to stay, continue to make up more excuse for our occupation of Iraq. We should leave the Iraqi people alone, let them deal with there civil war, their strife, their problem. We got rid of the terrorists no we should come home and recuperate, so that we can mount another attack on the terrorists if need be. The Iraqis are good people, and can take care of themselfs. We have given them a new country a new military
Racism is still a plague in our country; I believe that if all Americans stand together to stop it, that we can get this issue taken care of. Forgive each other, and move on with life. The African Americans and white, Mexican and Chinese must learn that were all one big country. And our lively hood depends on our love and support of each other.
The problem is cultural and racial ignorance. We don’t care to learn about others ways. So we assume our ways are the best. That we are better than others. This is shown by both groups of people, white and black. A lack of interest in change, we would rather just sit and complain. A new spark of social change is needed, we need to all do some thinking and learn of others and what they have done for us.
I believe that the church is the best place to start. Our religion ties us together, the majority of us proclaim to be Christian. So we need to practice the love that the bible teaches us. The pulpit is the way that racial reform started and that is how it will end as well.
I think that if some of the pastors met together and discuses the problems, and discover a way to find peace and a sense of unity, then send a list of nessisary changes to Washington detailing changes that need to be made in the laws of our country. But most importantly, we need to hear, live by and practice the love Jesus showed us, to each other.
I believe the best way to educate Americans is by the media, be it a television broadcast or radio. These communications have held us together in times of war and in times of peace. Americans love to see politicians get up and say how they will make change, then laugh at them for making promises they don’t keep. We need to keep faces a part of the racism change. Because if you can see the face of another person you will have emotion for them, respect will be there when people see eye to eye.

think on this

Words and Christian religion go back to the very beginning of the church. Paul and other Disciples of Christ wrote many letters to many of the towns and provinces of their day. These were letters of encouragement, rebuke and instruction. Writing our thoughts and inspirations is most likely the biggest way Christians spread their story. I remember passing out small pamphlets, telling the good news in easy to understand words. These writings have been the way to Christ for many. So writing can be a way to save the lost.
Writing also has influenced the Christian church. Martin Luther hammering his ninety-nine thesis to the doors of the Catholic Church, pointing out flaws in accepted church practice. These writings led to a revolution in the Christian church. Causing the creation of the protestant Christian.
Yes writing should be very important to the modern follower of Christ. It has been with us from the beginning, teaching us how we should follow in His steps. The written word carries with it thousands of years of history, and the Christian people have provided the earth with much. From the hand copied edition of the bible, to the royal records in most European states.
Writing spreads knowledge, and the saying goes. Knowledge is power. And being a good disciple you need to be knowledgeable of the world and its traps. Christians have written many books about how to stay on the strait and narrow path we follow. We share our experience with others through our word; we tell the future generations our story through the written word.
“In the beginning was the word, and the word was God and the word was with God.” John 1:1Words have been with us since creation. God spoke everything into being. Can you imagine the darkness, the formlessness of the earth or a world without the animals and plants? And then realize that these were not created by a hand or machine, but by the powerful word of God. Even today words are powerful. The Holy Spirit lends us his strength, and when a Christian speaks in His name, the evil demons must give way. Words are one way we communicate with God, through prayer we can tell our maker what’s going on, where we are, even ask for favors. This is also the time that god reveals Himself to us.
Worship is an important part of any Christian’s life; and we sing our words of praise to God, with music. But what words can we say that have meaning,
To those who know thee not, no words can paint! And to those who know thee, know all words are faint!
Mrs. More is certainly correct, “all words are faint”. The love we have for Him, our lord is not always describable, but we sing nonetheless.

im back, haha ha

Corruption is just one of the many faces of sin. It weasels its way in when no one is looking, it finds the weak and down trodden, then promises them riches and glory. It leads to the death of innocents and the upheaval of mankind.
I would completely agree with Plantinga when he speaks of corruption being pollution, it does seem to spread. If one man falls to its talons, the beast rises and charges again, and its next victim is just a little easier to ensnare in its evil plot. Some refuse this sin corruption any entry to their life while others open themselves to it completely.
So how do I take this common problem and see other people. I know that all people always are trying to one up each other, everyone tries to be the best they can be, and sometimes this requires someone to tread on others jobs, life and at times their freedom. Like I said, everyone deals with some extent of corruption, so I do try not to judge others to my standard, but rather to a more morale standard. Is the person in question really serving the will of the people? Are they not just advancing their own agenda? And do they really have a heart for their job, ministry or position of leadership.
I find these are most often the causes of corruption, one or more of the above stated are not in the right. So what is the right, well that is where your faith and guiding morals come into play?
Corruption does skew the way I view certain people, Osama bin Laden for example, I believe to be completely corrupted. And accordingly I don’t have a very good opinion of him. While our own congress I believe to be partially corrupted, and could be reconciled to their responsibiltys once more. I believe there are varying degrees of corruption, and I try to distinguish the peoples just trying to get ahead in life, from someone who would kill because you disagree with them.
But, and there always is a but, My Jesus changes everything, His teachings tell me to be accepting of all, pray for those who hate me and turn the other cheek. So while I really do not like Mr. Bin Laden, I do pray for his salvation, just like I pray for our congress. Sin is sin no matter the level, and all are sinners. This is a forgotten idea in America I think. We try to imagine that were better than others, so in a way this makes us corrupted. So I continue to pray for the lost and the found, that we all would follow Jesus and not some passing thought of power and riches.

And the light turned on

Well today is Sunday, Its raining cats and dogs, im quite honest here, you see when i went out to get the paper today there was a dog on our roof, then a cat jumped off the roof, it was raining, so obvioulsy it is true, it can rain cats and dogs.

Anyway, Let me share this story i heard today during the sermon.
The Titanic was a ship taht was declared unsinkable by God, Amazingly four days later it was sunk by an ice burg on SUNDAY the 15th. Even after the wireless operaters had received numerous warnings of those ice burgs, the Capt. of the Titanic had over 30 years of sailing experiance but decided that they were going to ignor warnings and good jugdement to make new records and gain earthly fame. God struck them down.
As some of you know, i HAVE AT ONE TIME concidered myself an episcopalian, my eagle prject benifeted the anglican church wich is the world wide episcopal churh. Well The epicpal church can be compared to the titanic.
Every ship needs a propeller, and in most churchs, the Bible, in the epicopal church the book of common prayer is a secondary rotor. We use these to propel us through the icy waters of life.
Every ship also needs a good and trustworty crew, and in most churches the paster and vestery take good care of there ship, guiding them in the light of truth. But in my old church the crew( the bishops, most of them, arent guding the ship in the right way, they have abandoned truth and are trying to make the episcopal church exepting to all, and are throwing the bible out the window, or changing what it says, even claming that Crist is not the only way to heaven and the Father.
They are clearly a bad crew.
Every ship also has life boats, and this is where my interpretation differs from my priests, I think that we should man the life boats, and sail to some other ship, leave the sinking ship THE Episcopal church to sink in the icy sea of there sin, but unlike the titanic, we should be ready to turn about and rescue the surviovors, we should be there light, there way to the truth of Christ.
These were my thoughts, and some of my priests.

Now that thats done, i think I should say that since i got so much of reader saying they read, let me hear thy thoughts of the past post, and this one.
Austininva